so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize