i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
