Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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