I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
