College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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