i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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