bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Randomize
