He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
