Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
