She said her name was "party"
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
