FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
