Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
