Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
