I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
