Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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