tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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