quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
