Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize