You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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