their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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