I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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