Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
