so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
