It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
