Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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