D3 body, D1 cock
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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