his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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