im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
There's always time for handjobs
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
