you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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