After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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