I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
