At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
