wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
It's just like the Real World with babies
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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