Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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