Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
