im drinking this country out of the recession.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
