grandma shit on top of the toilet
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
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