i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
