im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i think my cat just said my name.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
