just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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