In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
