The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
