is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
