i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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