Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She tied me up with her honor cords...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
