Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
