Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
