Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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