omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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