cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
ok first of all what the fuck
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
