The brown eye won't let me do that either.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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