i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I deserve this hangover.
His nipple licking is glorious
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