just survived the first fart of the relationship.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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