I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
