he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
