i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
