im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
