I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
